


Confessions

by johvmurphy



Category: Professional Wrestling, WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment, wrestling - Fandom
Genre: Balor, Emotional, Emotional Trauma, Kevin Owens - Freeform, Kevin Steen - Freeform, M/M, Owens - Freeform, Rollins - Freeform, TW: Violence, TW: abuser, TW: relationship abuse, Tyler Black - Freeform, WWE - Freeform, Wrestling, fergal devitt, finn bálor - Freeform, seth rollins - Freeform, tw: Mentions of Suicide, tw: abuse, tw: death, tw: murder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-29 10:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5124704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johvmurphy/pseuds/johvmurphy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I came across an AU on tumblr (OTPPrompts) and I couldn't just not write it. "Person A is a contract killer/assassin who has been hired by not-Person-B to kill the current spouse of B.  A carries through the murder, but finds themselves attracted to B.  They eventually begin a relationship, during which A finds out that B is actually glad that their spouse died because they were an abusive spouse-beater/abuser and A then has to decide if they confess to B or not.  B’s reaction is up to you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a fair warning, this fic is painful to read for any normal person (unlike myself). There's going to be a lot of angst, heart break, depression, pain, etc. There is a murder that kicks off the story and also mentions of an abusive relationship along with subtle hints to self harm, then we forward to a lot of depression / anxiety / alcoholism / thoughts of suicide (overdose)... If I come across anything else, I'll mention it. But I just want to warn everyone who reads this, it's not kind on the eyes in a lot of parts. There will be fluff, I'm sure, but it starts off harshly.

Seth smiled to himself as he scanned through the book he had been reading for the past few days. He was nearing the ending and he hoped he could finish it before Kevin got home, it was so hard for him to focus whenever the other was home. Reading had become his one and only escape from the harsh reality of his life.

When he heard Kevin's car pull into the driveway immediately he stuck his book back under the cushion of his chair, knowing that Kevin wouldn't find it and burn it like the other books. He flicked the few lights off and bolted up the stairs to their bedroom where he pretended to be cleaning up a little bit.

Kevin had left Seth with a list of chores to do, which the other never ended up completing since he got so lost in his reading that he lost track of time. He was terrified for what kind of consequences he would have when Kevin came through the door to find the sink full of dishes and the laundry still piled in their baskets.

He heard the door slam shut and the locks click as they were locked once more, which was weird, the house was never locked up when the two were home unless they were in bed. That only concerned Seth more. He wondered if Kevin was angry at him and he was going to punish him for something. His mind immediately jumped to some of the worst conclusions. 

There was a few seconds of silence down stairs as Seth listened in. But he focused on Kevin's breathing which was loud and unsteady. Kevin sounded upset and Seth feared the absolute worst.

"Seth!" Kevin shouted, "Seth, where the hell are you?!" 

Seth froze for a moment, wondering if he should just bolt and lock himself in the laundry room. But he knew if he hid there would be further consequences...

"Y - Yeah, up here." Seth hurried to the top of the stairs, answering as carefully as he could. He was afraid if he picked the wrong words he might get hit again.

"He's following - A guy in a mask followed me home from the gym. I don't - I don't know if he followed me down our road..." Kevin breathed.

Seth's heart dropped as he hesitantly went down the stairs, but he realized quickly that Kevin wasn't acting hostile towards him at all. Instead, he was terrified for his own safety. Seth thought that was ironic, he wondered how the other liked fearing for his life.

"Did you call the police?" Seth questioned.

"No! I was driving, what do you think I'm gonna' pull over when some maniac is stalking me to call for help?!" Kevin shouted.

Seth cowered back as Kevin raised his voice. 

But the sound of glass breaking in their kitchen stopped both of them, locking them in panic for a moment before the realization that someone had just broken into their home. 

"Call the fuckin' cops!" Kevin hissed, staying frozen at the entrance.

Seth hurried to the phone, tripping over his own feet as he got to it and fumbling with it before dialing the three numbers. 

A loud bang echoed through the house causing the phone to drop from Seth's hand as his eyes darted to the black body in their kitchen and then to where the bullet made impact. Kevin's body fell limp as he hit the ground, crying in agony as a pool of blood fell around him. He'd been shot in the shoulder.

Seth sucked in a deep breath as he watched Kevin fall to the ground. He wanted to help him but his body wouldn't allow it. He felt sick to his stomach in fear.

"Don't move." A mans voice demanded from the other side of the room.

Seth's eyes shot to the masked man who stood with his gun aimed at the two but he pocketed his weapon before walking towards Seth. His body language was almost calm, like this was any other normal day for him. 

"Don't do this." Seth whispered, unable to move. He knew that he was standing right in the middle of things and he was easily a target. This was usual for Seth, he was always the target. It felt normal to him.

The man dragged a kitchen chair behind him and placed it behind Seth.

"Seth, I don't want to hurt you. Sit." He demanded.

Seth couldn't move though, his body was frozen and his body shook. But he was relieved to hear that his life wasn't in danger, he hoped.

The masked man grabbed his arm causing Seth to wince in pain, making the man pause for a brief second and glance at his grip on Seth which was rather loose and careful for someone who had just shot a man. But he noticed the bruises on Seth's arm, and the fresh slices that were beginning to heal on his skin. He moved his hand up to Seth's shoulder, where he barely had any hold on him. He unraveled rope from his belt loop and tied it gently around Seth's wrists so he was confined to the chair, but it was loose enough that if he really wanted to escape he could, although the man knew that Seth knew better.

"P - Please. Don't do this!" Seth whined as he watched the masked man stalk Kevin's body.

Kevin had lost too much blood, his body was growing weak and he was fading. It was heartbreaking for Seth to only be able to watch. He was frustrated because he couldn't help him. He could only hope that the cops would show up soon but everything was moving so slowly and he was sure the worst would happen before they did.

The gun was now aimed back at Kevin who couldn't even fight to defend himself. 

But then the man locked his eyes on Seth. "I'm sorry you have to see this. You weren't supposed to be here. But, I've got a job to do." And with that said he aimed the gun at Kevin's chest before pinching the trigger.

The gunshot echoed through the silent home, and everything went in slow motion. Seth couldn't see anything after he started to sob. He was so heartbroken, he couldn't believe he had just watched Kevin be murdered. 

Once the man ensured that Kevin was dead he dropped his gun and walked towards Seth, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. He untied Seth's restraints, letting him fall to the floor and sob over Kevin's dead body.

"He won't hurt you ever again, Seth, that's a promise." He spoke, losing the intimidation in his voice.

Those words hit home for Seth, because they were true. Although he might not realize it in this exact moment, he was finally free from Kevin's abuse. And even if the emotional trauma from this event would certainly haunt him forever, it would never compare to the emotional and physical pain that Kevin had caused Seth. 

Then the man disappeared out the back door before the cop sirens could fill the air. 

Seth couldn't breathe as he watched the EMT's surge into his home, and the police officers with their guns drawn quickly spreading through the house. Everything happened too quickly, now, and he couldn't keep up. His head was pounding and everything in the room spun with the flashing lights.

He was pulled to his feet, barely able to support his own weight. A stretcher was wheeled in with a body bad open on top. When he realized that was for Kevin and that he really was gone he broke down. His knees gave out and he fell to the ground, unable to gather himself.

A voice kept repeating, "Can you tell me what happened? I understand it's tough, but we need to find the one responsible." 

Seth couldn't speak, even if he could gather his words he wouldn't be able to hold it together long enough to explain what had happened. 

When he was put back on his feet he was walked out of his home. The cold air finally traveled down his lungs, helping him breathe just a little more steadily.

Caution tape had secured the area and there was groups of people looking on with worrisome faces. This was a real life crime scene and Seth was having a lot of trouble grasping that.

Seth hoped that this was only a nightmare that he would soon wake up from, in bed next to Kevin, who would still be with him. But he knew that this was reality and he had lost the love of his life. 

But he promised himself that he would find whoever did this and he would make them suffer the same way he is. He would make them pay for everything they put him through. Even if it kills him, he will avenge Kevin's death. Despite all of the bad things Kevin had done to Seth, he was still in love with him and he would never get over this. He would never love someone the same way he loved Kevin. There was a lot of pain in his relationship, but there was also a lot of love. He'd never had someone who cared for him the way Kevin did. And it didn't feel real that he had just lost all that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW ; Depression, Hints of Suicide, Hints at Overdosing, Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse, Abusive Relationship, Alcohol, Vomiting, Hallucinations. 
> 
> Those trigger warnings are not all that this chapter has to offer, but, whatever is mentioned above will happen in this part. Although there is some good, it's not going to turn into sunshine and butterflies. I don't want to trigger anyone, I just have a sick and twisted mind that likes to write heartbreaking and awful things.

( Two Years Later ) 

Seth stepped out of his therapy session as his eyes remained on the ground traveling over each tile until he reached the coat rack where he had left his coat. He had the practice, there were fifteen tiles between the door and the coat rack. If he had to he could probably walk to it with his eyes closed. He grabbed his coat and quietly pulled it onto his body with his eyes still kept on the white floor.

"H - hey." A voice whispered.

Seth's eyes broke from the floor and glanced up at the man behind the voice. 

"Have we met before?" The other asked. 

Seth shrugged. Although, for some weird reason he did recognize the voice with the accent that belonged to the man. But he couldn't put a face to it. 

"Hmm. Well you look very familiar, just figured I might ask. I'm Finn." The other introduced.

Seth kept his hands in his pockets as the other extended a hand to him. "Seth."

That name brought a wide-eyed stare to Finn's face. Almost all of the color from his skin drained and his hand was quickly shoved into his jacket pocket. He was very familiar with Seth, but for his own sake he had to act like they were strangers. 

"Oh - I'm - I'm so sorry. How're you coping?" Finn asked.

Seth let out an exaggerated sigh. "Can we not do this right now?"

"Uh, right, yeah. Sorry." Finn apologized before reaching down to scribble something out on a tissue and hand it to Seth. "I've got an interview here later today so I should get back to studying some psychology. But - Uh - If you ever need to just talk or vent, call me, I'll have a session with you for free. I know how a loss feels and it helps to talk to someone who can relate... It was nice to meet you Seth, please don't hesitate to give me a call if you need anything. I dedicate my life to helping people with similar struggles such as yours." 

Seth was hesitant to take the note from Finn, but he did. He secured it in his coat pocket before giving Finn a forced smile before making his way back to his apartment.

He fumbled through his key-ring to find the few different sets of keys that he used to unlock his home. After the incident he took extra precautions to stay safe, such as moving into a fourth floor apartment where the only entrance was the front door which has two dead bolts and a chain lock. It didn't help Seth feel safe and secure, but at least he knew nobody could break in.

He set his keys on the table, glancing at a framed photo of Kevin and him from when they first met six years ago. He smiled to himself before tracing his thumb over Kevin's face. 

"I miss you buddy. I hope you're kicking ass up in heaven, trash talking all those idiots up there..." Seth spoke quietly. 

He went to his fridge where he grabbed for a beer but hesitated, realizing he had to work the night shift in the bookstore tonight and if he showed up with alcohol on his breath again he would lose his job, which he desperately could not afford. But he figured he only had a six hour shift and then he could come home and drink himself into a happier world like he'd been doing for the past two years.

Seth smiled when he realized that the night shifts were slow and he would get the opportunity to finish the book he started a few days ago. He loved to read, it was his only escape from reality and he needed that. 

 

(Two weeks later)

 

Seth stopped his therapy sessions a few days ago after attending one where he was way too drunk to even fake being sober and he was escorted home. After that he was too embarrassed to show his face there. He wouldn't forget how disappointed his therapist was with him. It hurt him because that was the one person he'd grown comfortable with after everything. Now he was too ashamed to see him again.

He hadn't left his apartment since and he was going a little crazy. He'd run out of things to clean, things to move, and things to throw out. His mind wouldn't rest enough for him to get any sleep and he'd nearly cleaned out his entire liquor closet. 

Seth found himself sitting next to a box full of all of Kevin's things that he couldn't bear to get rid of. It brought back a lot of memories for him and he just couldn't help but get emotional. He missed him so badly. 

But he knew he shouldn't miss him as bad as he does. All of the things Kevin had done to Seth logically should overpower the love Seth had for him, but, it just couldn't. Seth found a way to blame the abuse on himself in order to cope with it better. He was able to look past the brutal beatings he had endured and all the mean things Kevin said to him and focus on how Kevin loved him and how many memories they shared together. 

He hated the fact that the one person he had grown to love was taken away from him so terribly. But he couldn't stand the fact that the man who had murdered Kevin was still free, probably terrorizing other families. The cops couldn't find enough clues to lead them toward the killer. They had even accused Seth, but there was just enough evidence in the home to prove that Seth had nothing to do with it. 

As he continued to rummage through Kevin's old belongings, he came across a crumpled up note which he unraveled carefully between his fingers.

Immediately Seth recognized the awful floral paper that was torn out of a note book. He remembered how him and Kevin sat side by side in class. It was Kevin's first month in the new school and Seth was the one to show him around and make an effort to get to know him. He smiled to himself as he remembered asking the girl next to him for a piece of paper which she tore from her pink notebook. He then scribbled his phone number down, writing "I think you're cute, give me a call sometime." When Kevin had left to hand his paper in to the teacher Seth shoved it into one of his folders. Kevin didn't call that number for weeks, but when he did he was surprised to hear Seth on the other line. Seth remembered this being the blossoming point of their relationship.

He couldn't help but cry silently to himself as he thought about all the good times him and Kevin had, had. But his emotions turned aggressive, shoving the box away from him and spilling everything in it onto the floor. He was sobbing by now, cursing about how Kevin shouldn't have been taken from him.

"It's not fair! None of this is fair!" Seth yelled as he swung his arms across the counter top knocking the glass plates and all of his mail onto the floor with a loud shatter. 

He knew that he needed to calm his nerves but he was running low on liquor which had been what kept him grounded. He rummaged through his fridge, knocking everything that he didn't want onto the floor. He'd quickly made a mess of his house but he didn't care, that was the least of his worries.

He was going insane, his anger was over the top and he had so much on his mind that it was difficult to process clearly. Finally he found an old bottle of whiskey in the back of the refrigerator and despite how much he hated the taste and how it burned his throat, he still popped the cap off.

His hands shook as he tried to steady the bottle enough that he could drink out of it, and once he got just a taste he couldn't stop drinking it. It was the most foul taste he had ever let touch his mouth but he knew with a couple of swigs he would black out and maybe then his mind would slow down and he could relax for just a little bit.

But no matter how much of it he drank, he still couldn't shake his emotions. The drunker he got the more angry he grew. His stomach was hot with nausea and his vision was blurred. He was growing too weak to hold the bottle anymore and eventually it fell out of his hands and shattered onto the floor.

He had to grip the counter for support as he struggled forward but he froze when his eyes locked on a figure in front of him. It looked like Kevin, just standing in the middle of his living room. 

"Kev?" Seth asked. But the figure disappeared.

He looked around. He wanted to see him again, he needed to hear his voice one last time.

"Kevin!" Seth yelled, stumbling forward. 

But one more time the figure came into view, still blurred, but Seth recognized the large body.

"Seth, take my hand. Come with me." Kevin's voice echoed, his voice was like music to Seth's ears.

Seth reached forward for Kevin's hand but it was gone. 

He wanted to go with him. He wanted to get away. He needed to be with him.

But he didn't come back.

"Kevin... P-please. Le'me be with you." Seth begged, falling to his knees.

He had come to realization of what he had to do if he wanted to be with Kevin, and that was becoming more of a promising reality than continuing to live this horrible life that he had been living. 

Seth stumbled into the bathroom, clutching the sink as he struggled to stay balanced. 

He opened the medicine cabinet and rummaged through all of the medicines and bottles of pills, knocking them into the sink. He grabbed a bottle of painkillers, holding it tight in his hand.  
When he slammed the cabinet shut he saw Kevin's face in the reflection. His heart sank and he jumped back, not expecting so see him. 

"Kevin?" Seth whimpered, begging for him to take him with him.

But instead, the blurred finger lunged at him angrily, causing Seth to jump back and collide with the hard tiled wall. He brought his hands up to protect his face like he had grown so used to doing. But when he opened his eyes the figure was gone and had left Seth shaken.

Seth remembered all the times Kevin had hit him, had shouted at him, and had told him that he hated him. He was really mean to Seth at times, but he still continued to love him unconditionally. Seth in a sense was glad that Kevin was gone. He didn't have to suffer through the beatings and the emotional trauma that he endured. He really loved Kevin and he missed him but he knew that if he somehow was able to be with him again it would just be that same thing. 

Seth didn't want to deal with the black eyes, the bruises, and all the scratches that he had to hide from people and lie about. Sometimes he felt like those times were harder to deal with than what he dealt with now. At least now he was able to be open about his emotions and didn't feel pressured into hiding every detail about it. Everyone knew about the murder, it was on the news for months. 

He leaned forward, sobbing into the sink. He couldn't believe that he had almost come down to an ending he had sworn to himself he would never reach. He thought he was stronger than that.

But he was alone, and it was so hard for him to cope. He needed someone to be with him; to help him through this. But he had nobody. He wondered if he should call his therapist. But then he remembered. He remembered Finn.

Seth hurried through his apartment, looking for his coat. When he found it he fell to his knees and rummaged through the pockets until he came across the crumpled tissue. He grew aggravated that he couldn't read the writing through his tear stained eyes and took a while before he could.

He grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialed the number, struggling to steady his fingers. 

"Hello?" Finn's voice answered after two rings.

Seth tried to tell him that he needed help but he couldn't, his voice had disappeared. His words stayed stuck in his throat as he tried to force them out.

"Is this Seth?" Finn asked.

Seth nodded, but he knew that wouldn't answer Finn's question. 

He struggled to force out, "Mhmmm."

Finn shuffled on the other line. "Are you okay, Seth?"

Seth shook his head and finally that lump in his throat was gone. "M'in a bad place... 'need you."

"Stay with me okay? I'm on my way, Seth. You're gonna' be alright." Finn assured.

Seth couldn't help but start crying again, he was just so overwhelmed and he hated feeling so useless. He couldn't even help himself just like he couldn't help Kevin.

"Seth, can you get yourself a cold glass of water? Sit down on your couch 'til I'm there. Okay? It won't be long now." Finn spoke on the other line.

Seth nodded to himself as he grabbed a glass of water, keeping the phone pressed against his cheek. The cold water felt good on his throat as it eased the burns from all the whiskey he had chugged. 

"Are you hungry? I'll order a pizza, Chinese food, whatever you want." Finn offered.

The thought of food churned Seth's stomach. He didn't answer.

"Pizza it is." Finn spoke.

It was quiet as Seth listened to Finn's breathing, he was even able to match his own erratic breaths with Finn's to help calm himself down a bit. Just being able to breathe calmed Seth down so much more.

"Seth? I'm five minutes away. I gotta' hang up now though, are you alright til I get there?" Finn asked.

Seth didn't want him to hang up, he needed him there with him now. But he forced out a, "Yeah, I'm fine." Which was a complete lie.

"Alright, stay strong Seth. I'm almost there." Finn spoke before he hung up.

Seth leaned against the counter top, staring into his glass of water. He was so close to breaking down once more, he absolutely hated how weak and vulnerable he felt. He hated depending on other people to lift him up. But, without Kevin around, there was nobody to do that anymore.

There was a gentle knock on the door and an attempt to open it, but all the locks restricted it. 

Seth groaned as he carefully walked to the door, avoiding the mess he had made throughout his home.

He could barely focus enough to unlock each dead bolt, the door, and the chain but somehow he did it.

He pulled the door open to see Finn and a box of pizza. The others expression completely dropped when he saw how distraught Seth was.

Seth stepped out of the way and invited him in, his stomach dropping when his eyes met the mess he had made. He should have cleaned it up before having Finn over. 

When Finn stepped in, it was hard to stomach the scene. Seth's home was a wreck and immediately he was able to understand what sort of emotions Seth was dealing with. He had noticed that Seth hadn't shown up for therapy lately, he knew he should have shown up sooner.

Finn placed the pizza on the counter before turning to see Seth struggling to lock every lock on his door. It hurt him to see the measures he had went to in order to feel safe, and it was all because of him.

"Well. Welcome to my place." Seth frowned, trying to hide the uneasiness in his voice but it was very obvious.

"Seth, how many beers have you had?" Finn asked.

Seth groaned. "None." He was being honest though.

Finn chuckled. "You're very good at hiding it, come on, sit down and eat something." 

Seth leaned against the counter top next to Finn, who watched him carefully.

But when Finn opened the box and the smell hit Seth, his stomach churned and he became extremely nauseous. He had to rush to the bathroom before releasing all of the alcohol from his stomach into the toilet.

Finn was quickly behind him, rubbing his back as he tried to comfort the other. He knew what it felt like to be this low, and he just wanted to make sure Seth wouldn't feel as alone as he had. 

When Seth had finally emptied his stomach he slumped against the wall, his eyes were full of tears as he struggled to even look at Finn. He didn't want to accept that somebody had just witnessed him at his absolute lowest point.

"Feel better?" Finn asked, flushing the toilet for Seth. 

Seth groaned. "I fuckin' hate bein' like this." 

"I understand. Sometimes it feels like drinking yourself numb is the only way out of it." Finn spoke.

Seth stayed silent. 

Finn reached in the shower to start the water, feeling it until it got to the desired temperature. He glanced through the closet to find a towel for Seth which he laid out on the sink. Then he helped Seth to his feet.

"Why don't you take a nice warm shower, clean yourself up a little. And we'll talk after." Finn offered before leaving the bathroom.

Seth was hesitant to get in the shower, he was worried he might get sick again or fall and hit his head. He wouldn't want Finn having to fish his unconscious, naked body out of the tub. But he could only imagine how nice a hot shower would feel. And he felt a little less drunk now that he had gotten a good amount of whiskey out of his system.

He let his shower last longer than it should, to the point where Finn had to poke in and ask if everything was okay. Which it was. It was more than okay. Seth felt like he had washed all of his worries away. Of course, he was still upset and hateful towards what had happened but he felt like maybe after tonight it might be a little easier to deal with.

When he stepped out of the shower he found a pair of sweatpants and an old sweat shirt lying out for him. He smiled for the first time in a while. It was nice to have someone that would tend to him when he was hurting. He was starting to wonder if Finn was brought into his life for a reason, and that reason being to fix him.

Seth stepped out of the bathroom and the cold air hit him like ice, his eyes locked to Finn who was sweeping up the last of the mess in the kitchen. Finn had cleaned up all of Seth's mess from his explosion earlier.

"You didn't have to do that." Seth spoke.

Finn glanced back at him. "I wanted to."

Seth sighed. Again, he felt weak. 

"Think you can stomach some pizza now? You should get something into your stomach." Finn spoke as he dumped the last of the broken glass into the trash.

Seth shrugged, it did smell pretty good and he really wanted a slice. Even if he couldn't stomach it at least he could enjoy it for the time being.

He grabbed a slice and sat up at the counter, eyes locked on Finn. He wondered why he was so pressed to help him. People as nice as him were rare to find and usually had something to hide. But, Seth figured he was just paranoid.

He couldn't savor his first bite of the pizza enough, it was so tasty. He couldn't help but express his love for the taste with a full mouth of "Mmmmm."

"You feelin' better? You certainly look like you are." Finn asked, leaning against the counter and grabbing for a slice.

Seth nodded. 

"I'm glad you called me." Finn spoke between bites.

"Me too." Seth whispered to himself. 

He didn't think Finn caught it, but he did, and his entire stomach exploded into a happy warmness. He was glad he got a second chance to get to know Seth.

There was a long silence that fell between the two. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable, but instead it was comforting. Seth was glad to know he was no longer alone and Finn was so happy that Seth finally asked for his help.

"Um. How did you know where I lived?" Seth asked, he couldn't recall giving Finn his address. 

Finn glanced up at him, "It was in the system in the office."

Seth furrowed his brows, he didn't like that it was that easy for someone to get his address. 

"I was worried about you, if you didn't show up to therapy tomorrow I was going to check on you." Finn added.

Seth relaxed in his seat. He wasn't sure of the emotions running through his body. He hadn't really had anyone properly care for him like Finn has, and he doesn't even know him. It felt kind of weird to Seth but he shouldn't complain. He needs someone like Finn around him right now.

Finn leaned across the counter top, studying Seth's body language. It was tense, consumed by tons of things at once. This was a man that had dealt with being on the verge of a mental breakdown each day for two years. And Finn wanted to be the one to fix what he'd caused.

"What does it mean when you have hallucinations of someone? I haven't had them before, until earlier..." Seth asked.

Finn shrugged. "Were they of Kevin?" He asked.

Seth's eyes widened but then went back to a normal, distant stare. Everyone knew about what happened, so it shouldn't be a surprise when strangers ask about him. 

He nodded.

"Do you mind going into detail? There's a lot of reasons behind hallucinations but it all goes back to the mood of them and how they're perceived." Finn spoke, leaning his chin into his palms as he watched Seth speak, giving him his undivided attention.

Seth was hesitant. He didn't want to remember them, he didn't want to think of his bad times with Kevin. But he thought maybe this was the beginning of getting better and that is all he wants anymore. It's time to put it all out there and leave it there.

"Uh..." He couldn't find the words to use. It was really hard for him to accept that Kevin was abusive towards him, because he loved him so much. "At first he was telling me to come with him... Then he was gone. Again, he told me to take his hand and I tried to but he was gone... So I, Um, I went into the bathroom." Seth paused, remembering why he dug through the medicine cabinets. He remembered how he really was going to take that bottle of pills and disappear to be with Kevin. "When I looked into the mirror, he was there. But he lunged at me, like he was going to hurt me."

Finn frowned as he listened to Seth speak, hearing how the tone of his voice dwindled into depression and his eyes became glassy with tears as he would take seconds to think about everything. He hated that he was the reason Seth had spiraled so far downward.

He only knew very little about Kevin. 

"I can't help but feel a little relieved that he's gone, you know?" Seth began, eyes locking on the counter as he spoke. "I really loved him but sometimes it was just too much. He would say he loved me and that I was the only one for him, then he'd yell at me over something so stupid... His anger was bad and he took it out on me, every time..." He ran his sleeve across his eyes, sniffling back some tears. He wanted to stop talking, he already said too much. But it felt good to finally talk about it with someone since he had never told his therapist about the abuse. "It really got to me one night when I had just told him how much I loved him and that I was ready to start a future with him and he thought that I was being too forward, as if I was doing something behind his back and trying to pretend I wasn't. He was convinced I was hiding something. He hit me, actually knocked me out for a while. When I woke up I think I finally realized that this relationship wasn't healthy. I wanted to fix it, so I blamed myself. It just got worse..." Seth had started to cry and couldn't make coherent sentences anymore.

Finn was heartbroken. He really didn't think Seth's story could get worse, but it had. But it took a little guilt off of his mind to know that he had taken that abuse out of Seth's life. He wondered if then would be a good time to tell Seth the truth, but he'd already grown attached to him and he was afraid that might push him away. That might be what pushes him back down into that dark place and Finn only wanted to bring him out of it.

"I don't - I'm so sorry Seth. You don't -"

"When he got killed, I was sad but there was that small part of me that was glad he was gone. I loved him and I really wish that things could have been different. I wish he wasn't taken like that. I wish he could have gotten the help he needed. He was a bad man but he didn't deserve to go the way he did." Seth continued.

Finn sighed. "Nobody deserves to go like that."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a flashback, in Finn's perspective. 
> 
> Trigger Warnings: Murder / Blood / Abuse / Relationship abuse / Hints at self harm

Finn pulled the black mask over his face and glanced at his reflection. He didn't even recognize himself. His expression had grown blank since it was so used to the whole living life as a murderer thing. There was nothing good about it besides that pay check when he'd complete a list and that was it. Thankfully he had found a way to shut off his feelings and not deal with the emotions that a normal person would.

He grabbed the gun off of the night stand and shoved it into the back of his pants before pulling the mask back up and wearing it as a beanie so he could walk the streets and nobody would know that he was on his way to finish a job; to commit a murder.

His heart was racing as he walked through the busy streets. He kept his eyes on the sidewalk and away from the crowd. If any one suspected a thing and he was caught before pulling through with his job, not only would he go to jail but everything around him would crumble. His boss promised him that if he failed this mission, he would kill Finn's family members even if that meant traveling all the way to Ireland to find each and every one of them. Even if Finn wanted a way out of this, there wasn't one.

Just like his boss said it would be, Finn's getaway truck was all set up and ready for him. It was parked in an old secluded gas stations parking lot. When he got in the truck he noticed a suitcase full of clothes and a passport, along with his ticket to freedom. He felt a chill run down his spine as the adrenaline kicked in, this was really about to happen. 

He noticed a small note that had been left on the dashboard, written in code. It was from his boss and it read, 'Finn, fulfilling this job means that you have successfully finished my hit list and when you make it to Mexico I will pay you for everything you have done for me. This is the most important kill, you must be cautious but also most importantly be smart. No more than three gunshots to the victim. Nobody else dies in this process. Ditch the gun before you take off. No evidence is to follow you out of this. Your mission tonight: Kill Kevin Owens.' 

He gripped the steering wheel as his eyes met the busy road ahead of him. None of the passing cars around him knew that he was a murderer and that he was on his way to kill a man for reasons unknown. 

Finn was familiar with Kevin Owens. He was a junkie in their local gym, the annoying guy that grunted too loudly and slammed his weights down all the time. So Finn wasn't super opposed to ridding the world of him. At least there was a little bit of consolation knowing that Kevin wasn't a very liked man in town. But he was also familiar with his boyfriend, Seth Rollins. He'd seen him a few times training with Kevin. He seemed like a good guy, it confused Finn why he would choose to spend his life with Kevin. Seth was way too good for Kevin.

Right on time, he watched as Kevin's jeep pulled out from the gym parking lot and took off down the road. He followed close behind him, wanting to scare the other just a little bit but also not make anything too obvious. He pulled his mask over his face when he was sure it was just him and Kevin on the streets now.

His adrenaline raced through his veins as the familiar ecstasy before a kill hit him. He was so close to making millions of dollars, he was one kill away from completing a list and this meant that he could walk away from this life if he chose to. Or he could begin another list. He hadn't made a decision yet.

He noticed Kevin glancing in his mirror multiple times before speeding up and even taking random side roads to lose him. But Finn stayed close behind until Kevin pulled down his street. He wanted Kevin to have that relief, thinking that he lost his stalker so he went down a separate road.

Finn parked off the side road near Kevin's home, he went through his belongings once more to make sure that everything he needed was there. Once this kill was finished the time frame to get to safety would be very, very small. So he had to make sure everything would happen perfectly.

When he was finally ready he stalked the house, waiting outside the back door for the perfect opportunity.

But through an open window he could hear Kevin entering the house and shouting about how some man was following him. Then he heard another mans voice and immediately his heart sank. It was only supposed to be Kevin, there weren't supposed to be any witnesses. It hurt Finn knowing that Seth was also in that house and he was going to watch the murder of his boyfriend play out. It was too late to turn back now, he was already running slightly behind schedule and if he wanted to catch his flight before morning he had to do this. Now.

Finn took one of the couples flower pots from their back patio and threw it through the glass doors, sneaking through them and hiding behind their kitchen counters. He could hear their silenced whispers. 

"Call the fuckin' cops!" Finn heard Kevin yell. 

His window was closing, if the cops were called he would have very little time to carry through. 

He had to act, now.

Finn stood up, aiming his gun for Kevin's shoulder just to stun everyone. He pulled the trigger and the bang echoed through the home. He stepped into the living area, watching Kevin fall to the ground and clutch his wound. 

He closed in on them, "Don't move." He demanded.

Seth froze, glancing behind him as his eyes widened at the site of Finn. He pocketed his gun, worried that he might scare Seth more than he already had. 

"Don't do this." Seth whispered, and just the tone in his voice broke Finn's heart. He was about to take everything away from Seth and that pained him, but, Finn would lose more than that if he didn't pull through with this mission.

Finn grabbed a chair from the kitchen and placed it near Seth, motioning for him to take a seat.

"Seth, I don't want to hurt you. Sit." Finn demanded. 

But when Seth's body locked in shock, Finn had to grab his arm and move him to the seat. He was gentle with Seth, he didn't want to cause him any physical harm since he was about to be emotionally scarred for life. But Seth winced at Finn's grip, causing him to glance to his arm that was covered in bruises and healing cuts. Immediately he came to conclusion that those were caused by the other and he didn't feel so bad killing Kevin, now. He moved his grip to Seth's shoulder. He pulled the rope from his belt loop and secured Seth's hands behind him. The ropes were loose enough that Seth could escape if he really tried but Finn was confident he wouldn't.

Finn then walked over to Kevin, who was dazing in and out of consciousness at this point. 

"P - Please don't do this!" Seth begged.

He focused to Kevin and pulled his gun back out, aiming at his chest.

Finn glanced at Seth who had the most heartbreaking stare on his face as he watched Kevin struggle to stay awake longer. He knew that he had to end all of this soon, he had already screwed himself by developing an emotional weakness for Seth. 

"I'm sorry you have to see this. You weren't supposed to be here. But, I've got a job to do." Finn spoke, the emotions hitting his voice as it cracked. He couldn't believe he had put himself into this situation. He should have run Kevin off the road and killed him there, where Seth wouldn't have to live with the memories.

He pulled the trigger. The gunshot echoed through the home. But Kevin's body had gone limp and Finn knew he had completed his job. He had made the last kill and his list was done.

Finn was pulled out of his stance when he heard Seth's quiet sobs become steady. He dropped his gun to the floor, then turned his attention back to Seth. 

"He won't hurt you ever again, Seth, that's a promise." Finn spoke, losing the edge in his voice as he stepped towards Seth and cut his restraints free. 

When Finn heard the sirens he knew that he had to go, he couldn't stand there and feel sorry for Seth anymore. It was time to forget about this and move on. It was time to start fresh and he refused to let any of this night follow him through his future.

But he knew that he would forever feel for Seth. He would never forget that he had just caused this man years of emotional trauma that he would probably never heal from. Finn would never forget about that. It would haunt him for the rest of his life.


End file.
